And then I sucked..

This morning was spent with my husband..

who made me coffee..

Who hugged me and kissed me before he left for work..

Who fed the kid's cake for breakfast because he missed them..

This morning was spent with my oldest kids...

giving me hugs and kisses..

telling my they loved me most..

to the moon and back..

Playing peacefully with each other..

without tattles or fights...

This morning was spent with my baby boy..

who wanted nothing more than to cuddle..

have me hold him as he was still waking up..

Then wanting nothing more than to sit next to me while he ate breakfast..

scribbling in a notebook..

while I wrote in my journal..

This morning was spent with my heavenly Father..

Reading about His love..

meditating on His Grace..

Praying for His strength...

Thanking Him for all the little moments..

the blessings...

 I already got to experience this morning...

I was filled and thankful...

and then I sucked.

Things started going from tranquil to chaos..

and then I sucked.

And then I spoke sharper to my kids than I should...

I sighed loudly at the dishes in the sink..

I sulked and moped...

I felt sad

 beyond that I felt completely ungrateful...

Completely undeserving of all the wonderful things I have been given..

Puzzled that in the same morning as all those blessings...

I could end up so rotten..

But that's the thing..

I am always rotten..

always undeserving of the blessings poured out on me...

undeserving of the forgiveness received..

and the grace offered..

and the mercies poured out..

And those days when I am sweet as pie and respond as pleasant as can be...

I can miss that...

I am always in need of grace..

and it is abundantly offered to me..

So I asked God's forgiveness for my attitude..

My kids forgiveness for my rotten mood..

And thanked God for His grace..

even when I suck.