Proper etiquette

For speaking to pregnant ladies.

Disclaimer: It is warm and I am very much pregnant.. So while this blog is titled Spoonful of Sugar.. It might be a little bit more like a Spoonful of Vinegar today..

(roughly translated this is a slightly bitter post)

(emphasis on the bitter)

It seems when people see a pregnant lady they forget some very basic things.

I thought perhaps I would help remind people that pregnancy does not negate the fact that the woman you are talking to is indeed still a person.

So for this post I have taken the liberty

to write some basic scenarios that happen quite often to pregnant ladies.

Here is the thing in place of the pregnant lady I have put "complete stranger man with a gut". But because that is too long to type I will just call him Earl.

The Belly pat

Earl is minding his own business in the grocery store. Picking out a delicious assortment of little Debbie snacks. When along comes an older lady.

"Hello dear, look at the glow you have."

While firmly touching his gut with both hands.

awkward.

The weight comment

After his strange encounter at the snack aisle, Earl was quite in the mood to leave the grocery store. However he had to face Gladys the check out clerk, before he could make his escape.

" Wow, you got twins in there."

Gladys questioned as she popped her gum.

"You look like you are about to burst."

"How many months are you? I will tell you what, you look like you were due last Tuesday."

"Your belly is huge."

awkward

The gender question

Earl vowed to find another place to buy his food.

However even that could not save him from the awkwardness that was about to occur.

(please note I have to take very creative liberties with this scenario because of course no one would really ask Earl what the gender of his baby was but go with it, OK?)

Two women outside of the grocery store spot Earl and have the following discussion about him.

"They say girls saps you of your beauty. You must be having a girl."

"No, boys widen your face and make it fatter, must be a boy."

"No boys are all belly, girls make you gain weight everywhere. Its a girl."

"I don't know, boys make you very tired. You look like death warmed over. Must be a boy."

"Hm.. that's a good point, but hey you're big enough, maybe it's both."

Earl was not amused.

So next time you see a pregnant woman.

And you want to make a comment about her weight,

her inability to make decisions,

her eating habits,

or how much of a hot mess she looks like..

Think of this:

How would Earl feel?

This list of scenarios is by no means extensive, I felt poor Earl needed a break.

And besides I feel better now.

(While all this things have happened to me, they haven't all happened at once or in the same grocery store. So for all you New Englanders you don't have to start avoiding Market Basket)