A day at the park...

I am really thankful to be part of this family..

They can be loud and messy,

they can fight and scream with the best of them,

I can be impatient and moody

But God has given them to me,

and me to them,

and I couldn't be happier that I get to be a part of these people's stories,

because their stories are going to be awesome.

Just saying..

I hate getting shots.

Or getting blood taken.

Basically anything that requires a needle being shoved into my flesh,

I am not a fan of.

So I completely understood Gibson's reluctance to get his vaccines,

And by reluctance
 I mean wedging himself between the wall and the exam table,

letting out blood curdling screams.

He was scared
 and everyone within a 5 mile radius knew it.

Finally after I was able to reason with him,

and by reason with him,

I mean bribe him with ice cream,

obviously.

He climbed up next to me on the table.

He held on so tight to my arm,

tears spilling down his face.

The nurse gave him the shots.

My heart broke for him.

I was mumbling something about it

"it will hurt a little bit but help a whole lot."

and other unhelpful drivel I picked up from watching too much public television.

But the nurse,

she looked straight into his eyes,

and with compassion and tenderness

 even after spending so much time on something that should have taken only a few minutes,

she said:

"I know you were scared, but you are brave.

You are the bravest boy I have seen all day."

And then the clincher.

"I am going to tell the ladies at the front desk to let you pick out 2 toys."

He gave her a little smile.

The ladies at the front desk echoed her words..

"Brave boy."

By the time Court asked how the visit was,

Gibson replied

"I was so brave. I didn't even cry."

Then wrinkling up his nose.

"Mama, did I cry a little bit?"

Umm, what?

The fact is her words of encouragement were so strong,

so perfectly placed,

he nearly forgot about the 1/2 hour of terror,

and remembered her words.

"You were scared, but you were brave."

Today in a world where words are everywhere,

You can drop your opinion and hundreds will be exposed to it,

with a click of a button.

We place less value on our words.

We delivering crushing criticism,

scalding insults

and then cover them up with a tidy "just saying".

As if the weights of our words evaporate with that hollow disclaimer.

Your words can either bring life or death,

encouragement or pain,

They are powerful.

Even the truth spoken without love is damaging.

There is no "just saying."

Encouragement isn't empty powder puff words.

It isn't nonsense cheering.

It's instilling courage in people

when they can't see it.

It's showing the truth in a way that helps them see past the current events.

Helps them believe what could be.

We have a voice.

A voice that people we don't even realize are listening too.

Are we instilling courage in them? Are we speaking truth in love or spite?

Are we so impressed with our wit and snark we miss the bones we are crushing with them?

That has been my project lately,

weighing my words,

because my words have weight.

Trying to speak into my kids lives in a way that makes them know their potential,

their worth,

who they are in Christ.

that they may be scared.

But they are brave.

Birthday and Father's day in one.. because I am cheap like that.

So there is this guy,

Fortunately I am blessed enough to marry him.

He is the outgoing to my shy.

The motivator when I want to curl up in a ball and eat chocolate..

The person who buys said chocolates because he knows I love them.

He is the guy,

who I thought I couldn't love more 

until we had children.

He is the guy who has fought for our marriage at times when I simply fought.

He is the goofy to my serious.

And then the serious to my goofy..

and then sometimes the goofy that joins my goofy.

He is the one who is quick to forgive,

and slow to get angry.

He is the guy

that sometimes I just look at and think.

Wow, how did I get so blessed.

Love you Court,

and 

even though I know you are not a huge fan of public love notes..

I know this will be ok, look at paragraph 3.

You really can't get mad at me now.

Something that makes me uncomfortable..

So today I am talking about things that make me uncomfortable.

People.

Yes, people.

I am shy.

And although I like the idea of a chatting with groups of people in theory.

In reality,

it's scary stuff.

I have tried to overcome this.

If I am waiting in line,
 I try to strike up a conversation with with people around me..

or the cashier.

9 out of 10 times this turns out horribly awkward.

And actually the last time it wasn't awkward,

and I was really happy with the exchange,

thought I may have brightened someone's day,

I realized I had forgotten to put on my wedding rings..

So cashier guy probably was mistaking my friendliness.

So again.

awkward.

So somewhere out there is someone answering the question of

"What makes you uncomfortable?"

With this

"Random blonde woman trying to talk to me in the check out line."

Full circle.

Educate

Today I am supposed  to educate you on something I know a lot about,

I wanted to be spontaneous with this post,

not to think too much about them and just write.

However the first thing that came to my mind was

poop,

so I did a little bit of thinking,

You are welcome.

Still thinking.....

Yep..

Drawing a blank.

So poop it is..

Actually diaper changing.

Here are my top five rules about changing diapers.

1. Don't change your toddler standing up. You might think it's just a wet diaper. It won't be.

2. Be careful who you are with when you do the sniff test. Other parents think nothing of this test. People without kids. It weirds them out. Especially at restaurants.

3. Speaking of restaurants, don't change your child in the booth. Apparently this is frowned upon.

4.Keep a spare change of clothes and diapers in your car. But be prepared that you can do this 365 days of the year but the one day you forget, there will be a diaper of epic proportions that you WILL NOT be prepared for.

5. If you have more than 1 child in diapers, be careful you don't put a tiny newborn diaper on your massive toddler. Diaper wedgies are no joke.

There you have it.

Again,
You are welcome.

May day or something like that

I miss writing..

In this season of life..

things are really busy..

The kind of busy that is wonderful and blessed.

but still

Busy.

And I miss writing..

So today I am starting a Blog everyday in May.

Yes, I know.

May is half way over.

But I am starting from the beginning and using the prompts it gives.

So today is your life story in 250 words or less.

Hmm. 

(That isn't a real word so it doesn't count)

(But those did, oh man)

To know the story of my life,

I don't think you need the details of where I was born,

grew up..

even though I am fascinating and I am sure you want all the details.

(man, it's hard to keep this under 250 words with all the sarcasm I throw in.)

The story of my life really isn't about me at all.

It's about a God that loved me,

and chooses me to be a part of His Story.

 This verse is the Story of My Life,

For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. 

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

2 Corinthians 4:6+7

I am a fragile clay jar, but I am blessed to contain a great treasure.

And I am blessed to live this life with these people too.

 in other news 

We need a family picture.

To my oldest....

1.leaving the hospital.

2.Firstborn with our youngest.

Yesterday my little boy turned six.

I was a mess.

I remember all the emotions that I had when we find out we were expecting..

Excitement..

fear..

regret for taking the test in a ghetto Walmart bathroom..

OK, not really regret with that.
 It makes for a funny memory.

We cried in the parking lot.

The kind of tears that are full of joy and oh man we are going to be parents,

 how are earth are we going to do it?

I remember the pregnancy.

The anxiety through the first trimester.

The reading about EVERYTHING..

until Court hid my copy of "What to Expect when your expecting."

Tip: if you are pregnant DON'T skip ahead in that book.

Better yet just put the book in the freezer where it can't hurt you,

Hiding that I knew Gibson was a boy.

Framing the ultrasound and the envelope Court thought was sealed  that revealed the gender.

Stashing all the boy clothes at my sister's house so he wouldn't see.

(Court wanted to be surprised, I didn't..sooo)

Being passed my due date and the intense emotion I felt when people would say:

"YOU ARE STILL PREGNANT?"

That intense emotion was anger..

and hunger..

I was soooo hungry that pregnancy..

The packing for the hospital 

afraid I would forget something..

How I thought his little clothes were so small and there was no way possible He would fit in them..

The throwing up..

Just being real.

I threw up the entire 9 months.

Thank you Gibson.

The doctors appointment 

where my Doctor..

God Bless Him.

said

"You are going to have a baby today, I am sending you to the hospital."

The amazing ice chips and cranberry juice at the hospital.

Which may be why I had 3 other children there.

The nurses who calmed my fears.

Held my hand.

Told me I was doing great..

My husband standing by..

Supporting.

Not eating anything because I couldn't.

Half out of love..

The other half fear for his life

 I am sure.

Hearing that first little cry..

My husband's tears as he held him..

The first time my son was placed on my chest..

The first time I heard the words

"Here is YOUR son."

The weight ..

the joy..

the everything I felt when I heard them.

Then the feeling of..

"Oh crap, this is real."

Praying that God would help me because I have no idea what I was doing.

Knowing I was in for the most amazing journey.

And that was just the start..

Gibson Daniel..

You made me a mama..

And you have my heart.

You will never really understand how I feel about you until you have kids..

And even though you insist you love me more..

You are wrong.

Your Daddy and I love you.

We love the man of God you are becoming.

We pray for your heart..

And we pray for guidance..

Because 

for reals

we still have no idea what we are doing.

Happy Birthday (a day late)